Proper Hot Chocolate

I'm not really one for hot drinks. I can't stand tea or coffee and I'm not a fan of the herbal kinds either. One thing I have always loved though, is hot chocolate. I remember getting it from the machine in school purely to sip the precious foam off the top of the otherwise watery and quite rank brown liquid below. As I grew older I'm thankful to say my tastes refined somewhat! I moved on from drinking chocolate to cocoa, perfecting my frothing technique on the many many instruments we bought for the job! I still think the best one was actually pretty much like a cafetierre. It would make the thickest and creamiest foam, but was a bloody mission to pump! 

However there was nothing quite like trying my first proper hot chocolate. I was travelling around the world on my gap year (yes I can hear the groans!) and was in Queenstown, New Zealand. There was this cafe that served up mugs of what seemed like pure molten chocolate. It was divine! Thick and creamy, rich and full of chocolate flavour with hints of cinnamon and not at all sickly or sweet. 

I have been on a mission to recreate this experience ever since and I think I have just done it! It's been ages since I posted a recipe on the blog so I this seemed like a perfect mini recipe to get me going again.

I added mini marshmallows to mine but otherwise it's all natural and no added refined sugar . There are loads of studies that suggest dark chocolate containing at least 70% cocoa solids actually has many beneficial properties. It contains flavinols that are shown to have antioxidant and anti inflammatory properties and studies suggest it has a beneficial effect on cholesterol. So you could basically say this is a health drink! *

I find the easiest way to get good froth is to use a hand blender at the very end. Works really well and the forth is thick enough to hold up to being poured into a mug.

A note about ingredients. With so few ingredients it is worth using the best quality you can. I try to use organic milk all the time, the amount of hormones and antibiotics pumped into cows is horrifying and it comes to us straight through their milk. To get any beneficial properties of chocolate you need to go for a high quality one with at least 70% cocoa solids (good chocolate will say this on the packet). I use cinammon sticks but ground is fine, add it at the end to your taste starting with a pinch. You could use honey instead of maple syrup to sweeten, but it will alter the taste. Start with a small amount (1/2 a teaspoon) and taste before adding any more.

Ingredients 

Just under a mug full of milk (I used semi skimmed but for a fully luxurious drink use whole and/or a dash of cream)

50 g dark chocolate 

Small cinammon stick

1-2 teaspoon maple syrup (optional depending on how sweet a tooth you have)

A pinch of sea salt

Chop your chocolate up into little pieces or grate it.

Add about 1/4 of the milk to a small pan. If it doesn't cover the bottom then add a splash more (although your pan may be a bit big!) Add the cinnamon stick and heat gently until it is steaming, then take it off the flame. 

Add the chopped chocolate and stir until it has melted. 

Slowly pour in the rest of the milk stirring as you go and put the pan back on the heat. Heat until steaming but not boiling, turn off the flame. 

Add a pinch of sea salt (you can't taste it but it really lifts the chocolate flavour) and taste. If you wish, add a a teaspoon or two of maple syrup, but the drink shouldn't be too sweet. 

Remove the cinnamon stick and froth using a hand blender. Pour into your mug and if you are being naughty (like me!) top with a few mini marshmallows. 

Voila! Luxurious hot chocolate! 

*Disclaimer: I don't profess to this being any kind of health drink!

Anxiety

You take away my confidence in myself. You make me believe I can't so fervently that I actually can't. You are a physical being, a monster inside of my head and my chest and my legs. You stop me from breathing and you make my eyes continually leak. You jumble up my mind so that my thoughts come out backwards and upside down and incoherent and you turn me into a blubbery mess. You stop me from going outside. You stop me from opening the front or answering the telephone. You make me want to cut myself and you tell me that I'm useless. You tell me I am weak.

But I am not. 

I am strong.

I am strong because I have fought you for so many years. I am strong because with you on my back my load to bear is so much more than it ever was before and I am still here. I am still going. I am strong because you have made me open up to my friends and my family and the world and I know I don't have to fight this alone. And I CAN fight you.

With every inch of my being I will fight you.

You will not beat me.

The Start of a New Year

I think when I look back at the past year I’ll say it’s the year I really learnt to accept my disability. Finally understanding what is going on has made a massive difference, and I feel like I finally am being taken seriously by the medical community. Although this year has been full of medical annoyances, I think I’ve learnt that I’ll pretty much hate any hospital appointment. Last week I went to see a dermatologist about something completely unrelated to EDS or POTS, and as with all of my appointments about the chronic stuff, it was one of the most impersonal and unfriendly experiences. She didn’t smile, introduce herself or generally have any bedside manner whatsoever. Mr Spoonie Foodie was absolutely dumbfounded by it, but I‘ve learnt such is the way with most specialist consultants and get less angry every time I experience it. I’ve started to accept my limitations, now that’s not to say I’m not going to fight them and try and get better, but it seems I am finally learning to live within my capabilities. Deciding to use the wheelchair will probably go down as one of the biggest things I did to help myself, I thought it would feel like defeat but instead it has been totally and utterly freeing.

2014 will also go down as the first year I decided to not go out for New Years, not through illness, but because I knew it would be the wrong thing for my body. We had plans to go to a night at a local pub with friends, but the more I thought about it the less I wanted to go. I woke up on new years eve and decided I didn’t want to start another year with a week in bed feeling dreadful and emotionally raw. Instead I made an absolute feast for one of our best friends and his girlfriend, and wished them farewell when they went off. I had a glass of prosecco and went to bed. It was fantastic! (It wasn’t so fantastic when I was woken up by a very drunk Mr SF at 5.30 am, but we’ll just brush past that). I’m certainly not saying I’ll never go on a big night out again, but I’ve been feeling so good recently I didn’t want to ruin it on what is just another night out.

So, what do I hope 2015 holds for me? To be honest I don’t know, and I’m ok with that. I’m definitely not one for making resolutions, but I do have some aims. I’m starting the year with the strongest frame of mind I’ve had in a long time. I’m eager to do more, and would love to start regular work again, but I’m also aware of not doing too much and pushing myself backwards again. I want to do some studying, as I mentioned before I’m really interested in nutritional science and there’s loads of other stuff out there to keep my mind occupied. I’ve also decided to give myself a Christmukkah present this year of private Pilates classes. I’ve contacted a recommended instructor and am waiting to hear back and I'd like to post more regularly on the blog, particularly more recipes. But most of all for 2015 I just want to stay feeling ok. I’ve had one of the nicest Christmases that I can remember. It’s been a constant stream of family and friends, which although has made me anxious at times, has just reminded me just how good I have it. I recently got to meet my new nephew, and there’s a strangely nice feeling about the fact that the next generation of the family has been born. Yes, things in my life could be better but I’m feeling pretty content at the moment. I have friends, a beautiful home, a loving partner and a fabulous family, plus I cook really good food!