**This was written on Saturday morning but then I got
whisked off to the beach with Mr SF and our lovely friends after they saw the
parade, then I got distracted so it's only being published today! **
I’m a little bit fed up this morning. Ok, so I’m generally
not a morning person and am rarely exactly jumping for joy, but this morning it
is for a different reason. Today is Brighton Pride. It is, as you can imagine
for the most gay-friendly town in England, one of the highlights of the
calendar. There’s a huge parade and city-wide parties and events. Everything is
covered in rainbows and people are very much in the party spirit. It is a whole
day affair with the parade kicking off the celebrations in the morning, with a
festival type event in Preston Park and a street party in Kemptown, it doesn’t
finish until the last reveller finally leaves. So far since living in Brighton I
haven’t been able to go to the parade, quite simply I can’t stand up that long
and the idea of being packed in a huge crowd that is just standing there
waiting to watch something and relying on my legs fills me with unease. And so
this morning I said goodbye to Mr Spoonie Foodie as he went off to do something
that once again, I just can’t join in with.
People often talk about their fear of missing out. FOMO is
an acronym well used on the internet; people have FOMO about a night out, or a
birthday party or perhaps a gig. I don’t think I am alone in saying as a
spoonie, I have FOMO on life.
Now I don’t mean to sound too depressed and down. I’m
actually feeling pretty happy at the moment. I’m coming to terms with my illness(es)
and know that things are moving (albeit very slowly) towards more treatment and
help. Mr Spoonie Foodie has now moved in and after an initial 4 or 5 days of
him rushing around sorting things whilst I felt uneasy and weird, we are settling
into a really nice living situation. I have lovely friends (although too many
of them leave Brighton for the big bad smoke) and as I have said before I have
an amazingly supportive family. I’ve also got an amazing summer lined up for the
first time in three years and I’m so excited. Mr Spoonie Foodie is a teacher so
although term time is fraught, he does get the bonus of having a wonderfully
long summer holiday. We’ve got a friend visiting for a week who currently lives
in Taiwan and we’ve got a 2 week holiday to Croatia booked. With him to help,
the flat is much easier to manage and I’m loving having somebody to cook for.
So I’m really not at all miserable at the moment, but on days like this my FOMO
becomes reality and I’m reminded of all the things I haven’t (yet) been able to
achieve.
So, I’ve been thinking and I think I’m going to get a
wheelchair. This is something I’ve been considering for a while, but I just
haven’t wanted to. I definitely have in my head the idea that if you can walk, you
should try not to use a wheelchair (I’m not saying this is right, obviously it’s
not, it’s just amazing how strong a role societal pressure, stigma and
stereotype can play in your life), and I can walk...just not every day, or very
far, or comfortably, or without possible future repercussions. But a wheelchair
has always scared me. I worry I would get too dependent on it, become lazy and,
without meaning to sound too shallow, I’m rather scared of getting fat. However,
I am starting to see how a wheelchair would be so enabling. In a wheelchair, I
could go and see the parade because I wouldn’t have to worry about having to
stand up for too long. I could go to day trips without worrying about my energy
going on just getting myself around and Mr SF and I could actually ‘walk’ along
the seafront once again (well, parts of it at least!) I’m scared. I’m scared
because I’m worried somebody will judge me when I get out of it to look at
something or go into a shop. I’m scared that I’ll feel different and that people
will treat me differently, but when I think of what a wheelchair might let me
do, those fears just pale in comparison.
Illness (be it mental or physical) can make your world very
small, it is time to expand mine again!
I wasn’t going to post about all this stuff, what I actually
wanted to tell you about was my shepherd’s pie I made last night. Oh my! I had
leftover meat from a slow roasted leg of lamb and despite it being summer and
really not the time to eat shepherd’s pie, I really couldn’t resist. This is a
fabulous recipe to use up your leftovers as you can also use any leftover
cooked veg, adding them in at the end with the broadbeans and even turn your
roasties into mash for the topping if you have any spare.
I didn’t exactly measure or weigh everything particularly
carefully, but here’s how it went...
I had a leg of lamb that I roasted, this weighed about 2 kg.
3 people ate that roast, but two of them were Mr SF and a male friend so we can
probably count that as 4 people’s worth of meat. The shepherds pie feeds at
least 4 people and is filling heavy. With a couple of side dishes you could
easily stretch that to five or six people, just don’t let Mr SF serve himself
(he ate HALF this shepherds pie, wondering why he could barely move
afterwards). If you have less meat it is really not a problem as you can just
add more veg, some lentils would work very well to bulk it up if you needed to.
Just add more liquid and simmer them until cooked along with the meat. The broad beans go really nicely with the lamb
but the only reason I used them is because I have been getting organic boxes
recently on a half price deal and I have been INUNDATED with the buggers! This
was my last lot to use up though (and I’m going to request no more thank you
very much!)
Ingredients
Leftover roast lamb(about 750g)
Large onion
Carrot
2 cloves garlic
3 large (ripe) tomatoes (or you could use a tin or peeled
plum tomatoes)
1 teaspoon sugar
Handful of broad beans
Approx 300ml chicken stock
A good handful of fresh herbs – I use what I have in the
patio which is sage, tarragon, rosemary, parsley, oregano and basil. Some dried ones would be fine here too, just add them with the stock.
Olive oil
Salt and pepper
3 large baking potatoes
1 sweet potato
Butter
Dice the onions and carrots. Pod the broad beans by splitting
open their cases and popping out the beans.
Get a pan of water on a rolling boil and add the broad beans,
cooking them for 2 minutes before dunking in iced water or running under a cold
tap until they are no longer warm. I like to take their greyish skins off and
they should just pop out of them once they’ve been in the water, though
sometimes they need a little encouragement with a fingernail. I also halved/quartered
them but this really isn’t necessary.
On a low heat, sweat the onions for about 5 minutes until
beginning to soften. Once they start to go a bit translucent, add the carrots
and garlic. Cook for another 10 minutes until the carrots are softened,
stirring to ensure nothing burns.
Add the tomatoes and sugar (this just takes away any
back-of-the-mouth-tang some tomatoes can have) and turn up the heat to medium-low.
Cook until the tomatoes start to break down (about 5 minutes) before adding the
lamb (plus the fat/juices that have congealed onto the plate, not pretty I
know, but by gum is it tasty!) and the stock – you need the liquid to come
about ¾ way up the lamb.
Simmer this mixture gently for about 20 minutes until the
meat has softened and is easily broken apart with your wooden spoon. This process
may take longer depending on how tough your meat was to start with, but fear
not because this should revive any tough old soul. Add extra liquid if it
starts to dry out. The mixture is ready when the liquid has thickened and
sticks to the meat and the meat is fall-apart tender. Break up the meat into
bite size pieces with your spoon. Add your chopped herbs and broad beans, stir
well and taste for seasoning, adding salt/pepper if necessary. It was difficult
not to eat it all at this point and would make an amazing alternative meaty
sauce for pasta.
Whilst that is simmering, peel and cut up your potatoes
(sweet and non). Add them to separate pans and cover with cold water. Bring to
the boil and cook until tender (10-15 minutes). Drain and let steam for a
minute or two before mashing with LOTS of butter (I used about 50g in all),
salt and pepper.
Assemble your pie. Make patterns with your fork not just because
it is pretty and fun, but also because the uneven surface will ensure more
crunchy brown bits (and we all know those are the best). If you fancy, cover
the potato with grated cheese. Then pop it in the oven at 180 for 30-40 minutes
until the top is golden and crispy and the sauce is bubbling.
A delicious homely dinner, not the prettiest but nobody will
care.
